How to get what you want...

Sometimes you have to say no, not good enough...I refuse to accept that...in order to get what you want.


I have come to believe that you encounter certain people in life who are simply there to discourage you. It's as if before you can get what you need, your resolve to get it must be tested. 

Can I tell you a story?

Years ago,  I was to travel to India. The trip was somewhat unexpected so I had to do everything in a bit of a rush. I bought my ticket and then proceeded to apply for my visa. Now the visa issue was simply a formality so all I had to do was send my passport and required documents to the consulate. However, there wasn’t one in my city and I needed it in a very short time so I decided to use a visa expediting service and pay the rush fee. I looked up all the required information online and gathered my documents. Just before I completed the transaction online, I called the contact number to confirm what to do. I spoke to a man and told him that I needed the visa for Monday since my flight was Tuesday. His response was that the consulate did not do rush visas and that I had cut it too short. He told me with authority that it would not be possible for me to get my visa in 5 business days, since the embassy normally did 4 – 6 business days. His only solution was for me to go to there myself, which was an impossibility because I live in Atlanta and I could not travel to Washington DC, because of work. 

For a minute I was thrown. I really wanted to make this trip. So I prayed briefly, right there in Kinko’s. God spoke to my heart.

Don’t listen. Call again.

So I dialed again. Fully prepared to insist to the man that he help me. I planned to send my documents, no matter what, "I would take my chances" I was going to tell him. However this time I got a woman, who said simply when I told her my story, “Oh I think you have enough time, go ahead and send it!” Wow! 

What a turnaround, from no to yes in just a few minutes. Now this woman went further to give me the exact address of the agent in Houston who would be better able to expedite the visa through the Houston consulate and she was very thorough in making sure she did everything on her end to see that I could get my visa on time. 

Again wow! My circumstances had not changed. I was still cutting it close, it was her attitude and determination that was different from the first man’s.

Long and short. I submitted my paperwork on Tuesday and I got my passport with visa in it back on Friday, in plenty of time for my flight! Hallelujah!

So the moral of this very simple story is this. Sometimes, you have to refuse to listen.

Some people for reasons best known to them are negative people. People who always come from a place of no. You meet them in all walks of life. And sometimes they are in gatekeeper roles. Sometimes, they are a part of your community. All they know how to do, is tell you how something is impossible. When you have a chat with them, before you know it you are feeling discouraged and down. When you share an idea you are passionate about with them, they tell you all the reasons why it cannot work. Just negative.
Well, you have to start training yourself to refuse to listen to the no's and to start seeking out the yes. 

Because it’s out there. The YES is out there. Doesn't matter how many No's you have received, if you know in your heart that this is for you, like my trip to india was for me, then go for it with gusto. Push through!

Now mind you, I’m not talking about in situations like in dating…especially since this is Valentine's day. You are far too precious to cast your pearls to swine. If he’s just not that into you, then don’t expect his no to turn into a yes. Just move on, there is someone who will appreciate you just as you are. You deserve to be appreciated, not tolerated.

But in life, as far as success and what you want...

Don’t get stuck on the no, because your yes is simply around the corner. Just the next phone call away; If I hadn’t called again and gotten another representative, if I had just given up, I would have cancelled my trip based on one negative person's no. 

How many times have we given up something important to us because someone has talked us out of it?

Don’t listen. Talk to God. Talk to yourself. Call again and look for the yes!

I am thrilled to announce that finally the Refresh Leadership Circle is about to launch. I know you have been looking for a resource to support you in your life or as a leader to  live a powerful but soulful and grace-full life...The RLC is going to be the perfect resource for you. On Friday, please join me for a FREE webinar on being a soulful woman and get a sneak peak and special offer to join the RLC! I will have special offers and guest prizes for those who show up live...so register now and save the date in your calendar...this is a Friday evening you can not miss!


As always
Love you.
Be well.